If someone you love was just admitted to the ICU, this guide is for you.
There’s a lot happening right now, and most of it is unfamiliar. That’s okay. You don’t need to understand everything today.
This guide will give you five things you can do in the next 24 hours. Small, concrete steps that help you get oriented, stay connected to the care team, and take care of yourself along the way.
One step at a time.
First: Know That Your Brain Is Affected Too
When something traumatic happens, your brain goes into survival mode.
It means you will forget things people tell you. You will feel foggy. You may not be able to focus on more than one thing at a time. You may feel completely numb, or you may feel like you can’t stop crying. Sometimes both, within the same hour.
This is not failing. This is what trauma does to every human brain.
That’s why we suggest writing things down. It takes the pressure off your memory during one of the hardest times of your life.
5 Things to Do in Your First 24 Hours
You don’t have to do all of these at once. Work through them when you can.
1. Meet Your Nurse and Introduce Yourself
Your bedside nurse is your most important relationship in the ICU. They are with your loved one for 12 hours at a stretch. They will answer your questions, flag changes in condition, and connect you to the doctors when you need them.
At the start of each shift, when the nurse comes in, introduce yourself. Tell them your name and your relationship to the patient. Then tell them one personal thing about your loved one — their name, what they do, what matters to them.
This matters. When nurses know who their patient is as a person, care becomes more personal.
Also ask: “What’s the best way to reach you if I have a question?”
2. Find Out When Rounds Happen
Once a day, usually in the morning, the full medical team gathers at your loved one’s bedside.
This is called rounds. It’s when the team reviews what happened overnight and sets the plan for the day.
This is your most important window for information. Decisions made during rounds drive everything that happens for the next 24 hours.
You are allowed to be there.
Ask your nurse: “What time does the team usually round on this room?” Write it down. Set an alarm if you need to. Try to be at the bedside when it happens.
3. Open the Question Tracker and Add Your First Question
Questions come at all hours. Don’t rely on yourself to remember them.
Open the Question Tracker right now and add one question — whatever is most on your mind.
4. Pick One Family Spokesperson
If others are involved — a spouse, siblings, parents, adult children — decide now who will be the main person communicating with the care team.
This isn’t about leaving anyone out. It’s about making sure the team isn’t getting six calls asking the same questions, and it’s about making sure information doesn’t get garbled as it passes through too many people.
The spokesperson brings everyone else’s questions to rounds and meetings. They share updates with the family afterward. This one decision reduces a lot of the chaos.
5. Eat Something and Step Outside Once
You cannot sustain this if you don’t take care of your body. We know this feels impossible right now.
Eat something in the next few hours. Step outside the building, even for five minutes. Get some air.
If you’re afraid to leave: write your phone number on the whiteboard in your loved one’s room. Ask your nurse to call you if anything changes.
The nurse monitors your loved one continuously even when you’re not there. You leaving to take care of yourself does not put them at risk.
Your loved one needs you to still be standing in week two.
What a Day in the ICU Looks Like
The ICU runs on a rhythm. Knowing what to expect helps everything feel less chaotic.
Early morning
The nursing shift change happens. Your new nurse will assess your loved one and review overnight notes. This is a good time to introduce yourself and ask how the night went.
Morning
The medical team rounds. Plan to be here. Bring your questions.
Through the day
Blood draws, vital sign checks, medication adjustments, therapy visits, specialist consultations. The team is continuously monitoring. Nurses check in at minimum every hour.
Afternoon and evening
A good time for a quieter conversation with your nurse if you have follow-up questions from rounds. The team may round again briefly in the evening, depending on your hospital.
Night
Less activity. A night team takes over. If something changes, they will contact you.
See a full breakdown of daily ICU care routines →
What You Don’t Need to Figure Out Today
Give yourself permission to set these aside for now:
- Understanding every diagnosis, medication, and number on every monitor
- Having a plan for what happens after the ICU
- Knowing the names of every person who walks into the room
- Being strong for everyone else at the same time
- Having the right words
None of these are your job in the first 24 hours.
Where to Go Next
When you’re ready, these are the most helpful guides to read next:
- Your ICU Care Team — Understand who is caring for your loved one and what each role does.
- Talking with Your ICU Care Team — How to get the information you need, including how to prepare for rounds.
- Talking with the Care Team — How to get the information you need, including how to prepare for rounds and keep a running question list.
- Making the Room Feel Like Home — How to help your loved one feel more like themselves in the ICU room.
- The Basics: Eat, Sleep, Breathe — The non-negotiables for taking care of yourself during this time.
“I went to Walmart, bought a notebook and pen, and just started making lists of everything that needed to be done.” There’s so much you don’t know at the beginning. Just start writing it down. Don’t worry if it’s messy—you’ll build the system as you go.
