Tips for Asking for Help

You’re Doing Great

You are doing an amazing job in an incredibly difficult situation. Asking for help does not diminish that, but it does enhance your ability to provide the best care possible.

Tips for Asking for Help

• Be Specific
  Instead of saying “I need help,” try “Could you prepare a meal for us on Tuesday?”
• Use Technology
  Utilize care coordination websites like CaringBridge to organize tasks and communicate needs.
• Prepare a List
  Keep a running list of tasks others could help with. When someone offers, you’ll be ready with suggestions.
• Don’t Apologize
  Replace “I’m sorry to bother you” with “Thank you for your help.”
• Start Small
  If asking feels uncomfortable, begin with small requests and build up to bigger ones.

Be Open to Different Types of Help
Someone might offer an alternative to what you asked for. Be flexible and open to various forms of support.

Ideas for How People Can Help

Practical Support

• Prepare meals or grocery shop
• Help with housework or pet care
• Drive you to/from the hospital
• Assist with childcare

Emotional Support

• Lend a listening ear
• Accompany you to difficult meetings
• Send encouraging messages

Information Management

• Update other friends/family
• Manage a care calendar
• Help research medical information

Personal Care Reminders

• Check in on your sleep and eating
• Encourage you to take breaks
• Offer to sit with your loved one so you can rest

Overcoming Hesitation

It’s common to feel hesitant about asking for help. Here’s how to overcome some common concerns:

• “I don’t want to be a burden”: Remember, most people genuinely want to help.
• “I should be able to handle this”: No one expects you to do everything alone.
• “What if they say no?”: If someone can’t help, they’ll say so. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask others.
• “I don’t know what to ask for”: Use our list of ideas above or ask them to choose a task they’re comfortable with.

Create a Help Schedule

Consider creating a schedule to manage the help you’re receiving:

• List daily, weekly, and occasional tasks you need help with.
• Use a shared calendar (Google Calendar, for example) or sign-up sheet.
• Express gratitude for the help received.