Requesting a Family Meeting

At any time during your loved one’s ICU stay, you can ask for a formal meeting with the medical team. This is called a care conference or family meeting. You don’t have to wait for the team to suggest one.

When to Request One

A family meeting is especially helpful when:

• The care plan is changing in a big way
• You’re being asked to make a difficult decision
• Family members have different opinions about what to do
• You don’t feel like you’re getting clear information during rounds
• Your loved one has been in the ICU for more than a week
• You want to talk about goals of care or long-term expectations

How to Ask

Tell your nurse or the attending doctor: “I’d like to schedule a family meeting with the care team.” That’s all you need to say. They will set it up.

If you want specific people there — the social worker, a chaplain, a specialist — ask for them by name. You can also request a phone or video option for family members who can’t be there in person.

How to Prepare

Before the meeting, write down your top questions. Talk with family members ahead of time about what matters most. If there are disagreements in your family, it’s okay to name that in the meeting — the team can help navigate it.

Bring a notebook or ask if you can record the conversation. It’s hard to remember details when emotions are high.

What to Expect

The team will share where things stand, what options exist, and what they recommend. You’ll have time to ask questions. There’s no pressure to make decisions on the spot — unless there’s an emergency, you can always ask for time to think.

Try saying: “Can we take a day to think about this as a family before we decide?”